The political timeline of Dr Sean
Edward Roche - my son-in-law
December 2012
Shares the photo launch of the National Health Action Party
January 2013
Selected as Head of Strategy for NHAP
September 2014
Wins by-election for Stratton-on-the-Fosse East replacing
the Conservative incumbent who, having claimed expenses for a suit of armour,
fell on his sword and died of septicaemia after being held in the casualty
waiting room for 3 days.
September 2015
Keynote speaker at the 1st NHAP party conference
held on the second floor of the Travel Lodge in Sturminster Newton. He makes a
triumphant debut on Question Time completely eclipsing Janet Street-Porter, Lord
Bruce Forsythe and the latest winner of Britain’s Got Talent
December 2015
David Cameron cancels Hogmanay to the anger of the Scottish
Nationalist Party. He reverses the decision and is diagnosed with Meniere’s
Disease after too many U-turns. He is replaced by Boris Johnson who immediately
shoots himself in the foot and is admitted to the King Edward Hospital for
Officers. This is closed the next day as a result of budget cuts and he limps
home. NHAP gains 4 seats in constituencies that have no Primary Healthcare
hospitals. Sean turns down the offer to become Speaker of the House of Commons.
February 2016
27 of the 46 Police Commissioners are de-selected following
the disclosure of links to three national protection gangs – the Cons, the Libs
and the Labs. The other 19 could not be found after becoming lost and unable to
find a policeman to ask for directions. Sean becomes Patron of MenCap
July 2016
Boris Johnson bombs Iran but misses. President Homer Simpson
tears up the Special Relationship. Sean crosses the house to join the alliance
of the North Cornish Nationalist Party and UKIP and is immediately promoted to the
Ministry of Transfusions and Sticking Plasters previously known as the
Treasury. The waiting time for non-urgent surgical cases is now extended until
3 weeks after you are dead saving £17.68 billion allowing the new fifth London
airport to be built at Haverfordwest. The Secretary of State for Transport got
a D in his Geography GCSE.
October 2017
The coalition of the
NCNP, UKIP and NHAP forms a new party named Consignia. Greece repays 76
trillion drachmas to Greater Germany previously known as the EU. Lord Sean of
Wayford Bridge elected President of England now that Scotland, Wales, Northern
Ireland and Warrington have achieved independence. He is carried in triumph on
top of an open topped bus down the A303 where it gets stuck in a traffic jam at
Stonehenge. While waiting for two days for the traffic to clear he is anointed
Head Druid to pass the time.
Boris Johnson apologises to Coventry, Clerkenwell,
Canterbury, Turks and Caicos Islands – and Iran. He resigns to spend more time
with the family circus. The snap General Election results in a landslide
victory for anyone unassociated with any of the three main political parties.
August 2020
Sean resigns the
Presidency to spend more time playing obscure music tracks to Scottish
Blackface sheep on South Uist thereby increasing their wool yield. Lady Tamsin
has a sell-out exhibition of her sculptures at the Courtauld Gallery. Among the
buyers were Charles Saatchi, Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and Banksy.
Enough already!
