Millions, Billions and Squillions

We are endlessly bombarded with figures which the average human mind finds difficult to comprehend. The UK national Debt is predicted to rice to 1.1 trillion pounds by 2011. To put this into perspective if you tried to count up this figure using one number every second it would take over 31,688 years!

Wembley stadium is often used as a measuring device to explain large figures - it has a capacity of 90,000 - so 1 billion people would fill 1111.111 Wembley stadiums - or should that be 'stadia'? The world's population is estimated at about 6.4 billion so they would all fit into 65,000 Wembleys but, if my maths is correct, each one would need about £300 to pay off the UK National Debt - but then that is less than half the price of a season ticket for West Ham United

As you can see my mind works in weird ways.

Samaritans in the snow

We needed to attend a wedding on the weekend before Christmas down in Sussex - a three hour drive away. The weather was not particularly encouraging but we were very keen to be there. We finally got to our hotel after nine hours driving through the ice and snow and we were very grateful that the hotel had left out some sandwiches when we arrived at 11.00pm.

There was further snow during the night and we got a phone call to say that the wedding had been postponed. The groom's father and two brothers had been unable to get to the venue from London so we started the long journey home. We needed a tow to get up the slight incline out of the hotel car park. Their 4x4 was unable to do the job so they got out a tractor to get us going.

Throughout the ensuing twelve hour journey we needed a further four tows and four 'pushes' to keep us moving. The Samaritan spirit of local people who used their four wheel drive vehicles to assist skating travellers up the local hills restored our faith in the unselfish humanity of the British people. At each slight incline there were cheerful local residents prepared to give up the warmth and security of their own homes to help passing strangers. There was a wonderful camaraderie on the snowbound roads.

The British may be a grumpy race but, give them a crisis, and a cheerful humour rises from their breasts for which my wife and I will be eternally grateful. To all those anonymous Captain Oates we can only say "Thank you".

#500 - Children's giggles

There is something infectious about the giggles of young children. You do not even have to see them laughing – just the sound brings a smile to one’s face. While screaming occupants of pushchairs in a supermarket increases the tension throughout the store, a gurgling chuckle spreads smiles within earshot.

Towards the end of my computing lessons for the over 60’s I occasionally see a glaze in the pupil’s eyes and I know that it is time to stop. In these instances I try to lighten the load of information by bringing up a YouTube video of a giggling child – just search for ‘hahahaha’ – and within seconds a broad grin spreads across the face of the student’s face and they leave the lesson with their spirits on a cloud. No matter how many times I play the video I still can’t help smiling. Wonderful!

Awesome things

I have just discovered a life-enhancing website to brighten the occasional grey days that we all suffer from time to time. The author of 1000 Awesome Things at www.1000awesomethings.com set himself the task of describing one of those small facets of life every day for a thousand days – starting at 1000 he is now down to number 464 – in the form of a rolling blog. Recent posts have described the joy of using milk instead of water in pancakes, hot chocolate and mushroom soup; the moment of anticipation just before the first kiss; capturing a perfect picture and finishing your last exam.

The website has been so successful that it won a Webby award and has now metamorphosed into a best-selling book. It has stimulated me into creating a few blogs on the same subject which will appear over the next few weeks. I have already started a list – gooked eggs (my favourite comfort food), the kindness of strangers, things that work when they shouldn’t and surprising successes of one’s children. Western mankind has become a complaining species only happy when members can leap into litigation quoting human rights, health and safety other people’s responsibility when we could be enjoying life so much more if we forgave a little more often and looked for silver linings. We ought to celebrate the glimpses of sunlight on the mountain tops instead of wallowing in the swamps of self pity.

We would all be a lot contented if we took time out at the end of each day to remember one fleeting moment of unexpected happiness. They often happen in the blink of an eye so keep them open to the possibility. As Nathaniel Hawthorne said “Happiness is a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight on you.”

Be happy.

Common Courtesy

Courtesy is no longer common which is a sad reflection on our modern society. It is a rarity today to hear a child saying “Thank you” in a tone of voice which implies that the phrase is meaningful to both the giver and the recipient.

I like to think of courtesy as being ‘bread upon the waters’. You never know when it will be repaid. The opposite is also true in that discourtesy will come back to bite you.

Way back in the 1960s my father had an office in Cavendish Square behind John Lewis in London. There were no parking meters or traffic wardens in those far off days and cars would be double- or even triple-parked around the square. There was a wonderful doorman guarding the entrance to the seven offices at 19a, Cavendish Square – Mr Taylor. He wore a long black coat, black shoes, pinstripe trousers and a top hat. He was the epitome of courtesy.

Whenever I parked my old banger outside the building Mr Taylor would ask for the keys so that he could move the vehicles about as parking spaces became available. He would always ask when I needed to use the car again so that it was accessible on my return. One afternoon a client of Lew Grade, the theatrical impresario, arrived in his Rolls Royce and proceeded to park it against the kerb. Mr Taylor approached him to ask for the keys but the man, in a particularly lofty manner, refused to hand them over saying that he was only going to be there for an hour or so. You did not do this to Mr Taylor.

Two hours later the client returned to his car which, by this time, was hemmed in by cars in front, behind and alongside the Rolls. He snapped his fingers at Mr Taylor and instructed him to move the offending vehicles so that he could get his own car out. “Sorry, sir, they never left me the keys” came the reply and the Roller was trapped for a further five hours!

Courtesy is not a matter of doffing one’s cap – very few men wear them nowadays – but simple consideration of other people’s feelings. Holding a shop door open for a following customer, offering to pick something up dropped by an arthritic pensioner, letting a driver out into your line of traffic or complimenting a stranger on their choice of clothes can generate a feel good factor in oneself. When was the last time you offered to carry a heavy shopping bag for an old lady when you had just popped into the supermarket for a newspaper? Try it and you will find sunshine come into your life. Let’s make courtesy more common.

Rejection slips

Having now collected seven rejection slips for my children's novel I have decided to get some advice from a literary consultant company - Cornerstones - which was recommended by the last agency.. I am hoping that they may be able to point me in the right direction after polishing both the manuscript and the synopsis. It will cost me £180 but I think it will be money well-spent if it helps me to improve my writing skills. I will keep you informed of my progress.

Latest publishing news

Life has become quite exciting over the past few months. My first book - Computing for the Older and Wiser - continues to sell remarkably well and the second volume - The Internet for the Older and Wiser - was published in November 2009 and sold well over Christmas. My third book in the series - Windows 7 for the Older and Wiser - is due out in 8 days time on 22nd January.

In the meantime I have been able to complete the third draft of my new children's novel, "The Land of Beyond - Genesis" and I have submitted it to the first, of what may prove to be many, literary agent. I am keeping my fingers crossed for a positive response. Writing the novel was a totally different experience to that of writing the computing books. I found that, once I had got into the flow of the writing, I was in a different world - one of my own imagination. It was a magical feeling. There were times when the words simply would not flow but by 'writing through' the 'block' I found the muse returning.

The book is about a magical world discovered by four children where it never rains during the day, nobody gets ill and everyone lives in harmony. However this is not the perfect world it appears to be because, lying in the shadows, are the Cateroceri who threaten the population with slavery. A magical world? There are boats powered by sycamore seeds; electricity generated by silk trees and thunderstorms; strange cooking stoves which provide any meal requested by the children and a professor who creates weird and wonderful contraptions. The children aided by the professor are determined to rescue the slaves from their underground prison in spite of the many dangers surrounding their efforts.

I will post a synopsis of the book in my next blog and keep you up to date with developments.