I have suffered from depression of the bipolar kind for over 20 years. Lots of GPs’ psychiatrists, cognitive therapists and other professionals have helped me through many ‘black dog’ episodes but my main support has come from Jen, my wife, whose loving support has proved to be the most long-lasting treatment.
I had to change psychiatrist 6 weeks ago who considered that I was on inappropriate medication and decided to wean me off my Depakote – I was on a very low dose anyway – and now is reducing my daily intake of venlafaxine. Losing the Depakote has certainly added a lot more colour to my life but I experienced a particularly bad depressive episode for a week which started just before I reduced the dose of the venlafaxine. Now that the black dog has returned to his kennel – in spite of the reduced medication – I have noticed that I have stopped sweating for about the first time in 20 years and I am less tired during the day. I realise that these are very early days and the psych. has reassured me that there are many more appropriate medications that can be used in my case should they prove to be necessary. My first reaction is that I have probably suffered more from the side effects of the many drugs I have been put on than from the condition itself, dreadful though it is.
However the point of this blog is that one can always find someone far worse off than oneself. I was enjoying a cup of coffee with friends this morning when the subject of the conversation turned to disability. Everyone present – there were 6 of us – all had close friends,, family or just acquaintances who were suffering from such severe disabilities that we wondered what right any of us who lead largely happy lives have to complain at all.
Yes, depression can lead to suicidal thoughts and some sufferers do take their own lives but, from time to time, we can be released from the prison that is depression. While paraplegics, sufferers of Parkinson’s and Motor Neurone diseases and the carers of patients with dementia never get an hour’s respite.
